Mom’s last words before she died were “I have it and I’ve always had it. I love you! We generate...regenerate good feelings!!”
  I really did not get this on a TRUE level until now. A few weeks ago I wrote about how the young little kid inside us longs for mother. Feels incomplete, needy, etc. Then my Aunt Deb responded to this with her instinctual heart wisdom:
  “Di, you are the archetype of unconditional ‘mother love’. My perception is, that as beautiful, free and emotionally transparent your mom was, you, Diane, have become an anchor of consistency, enduring love, stability and eventually undying devotion for your mom."

“I'm wondering if what you are longing for is an emotional connection with the power of your OWN loving, giving essence…and whether your spirit might be asking for recognition of its love in parenting the eternal childlike heart provoking spirit within you.”
  Wow, I got it! What we can give to others, we must turn inward towards ourselves because in order to give it we truly must be it! This may sound funky but so what? I am spreading mom’s ashes on my own heart to remember that I am WHOLE! We are WHOLE!! We are born that way!!